Remember that club your friends started in the third grade but didn't invite you to join? Or that sorority you desperately wanted to rush but they didn't send you a bid? Everything always seems to be about joining that club you feel everyone is a member of except you. Being in my mid 40s, there have been many clubs I've wanted to join only to never get an invitation. I've watched my friends, family and coworkers join, but those clubs remain elusive to me. It seems as if every stage of our life consists of levels taking us to the next club we, by society's standards, must join. I call these … [Read more...]
Chemistry
Remember those days in high school and college when the subject of chemistry meant class labs, homework and tests? It was an elusive subject for my creative mind. I never excelled at calculating moles or figuring out why one metal didn't mix well with another. It was the one subject even a tutor couldn't help me. Chemistry was my nemesis. Strangely, it remains as elusive to me now as it did in school--but in a very different manner. Its not about action and reaction in a lab, its more about what occurs between two people when they meet. Its that instantaneous feeling of attraction or … [Read more...]
Dear 16 Year Old You
I'm middle aged. I admit it. Yes, I'm in my mid 40s and proud of it. In a culture that values youth and inexperience, I'm doing just fine. I still have a generous bucket list, but I've accomplished some of my goals and I'm proud of that. So when someone asks me what I would change if I could go back in time, I'm not sure how to answer. Every second of my life has impacted me in some way. Every trip I've taken, every break up I've experienced and even the job losses. As cliche as it sounds, its true about those doors closing and others opening to something new. However, I do wonder what I … [Read more...]
Emotional Intelligence is highly underrated in our relationships both at work and in our personal lives. This is a great article on how being genuine is the key to making our relationships work.
The Importance of Being Genuine
Want Vs. Need
A male friend of mine and I had a discussion the other day about a woman wanting a man versus needing him. Its an issue I truly believe confuses us all--especially the men. There is no doubt a difference and a man needs to understand an independent woman in order to tell the two a apart. My mother once told me I was independent coming out of the womb. Considering how adventurous I am, I would say its a true statement. Alone time and solitude have always been a priority for me. However, I didn't always know I was so independent until I moved to Switzerland at the age of 19 and lived and … [Read more...]
This is almost 100% true. Its alright to move on and let go…something very difficult to do when you have cared for a person who no longer wants to be in your life. Let go. Move on. You deserve people in your life who appreciate you, your loyalty and love.
Ghosting
I have written posts on friendship and loyalty lately--two areas of my life I find incredibly important. I am passionately loyal to my close friends and try to be a good friend to my acquaintances who can come and go. With close friends, there is that extra level of loyalty and respect I provide, but I also expect it in return. They are the friends I know will always be there no matter if we have disagreements or move away from each other. I can just say I'm sorry and vice versa and all is forgiven. I love them like I love my family members. There have been a few times a close friendship has … [Read more...]
Loyalty
I sat here looking at a blank screen wondering how to express my feelings about loyalty. Its one of my strongest traits being a very passionately loyal and honest person. Its also one of my biggest weaknesses because it opens me up a world of hurt and disappointment when that loyalty isn't returned. So this post isn't going to be nice. It isn't going to be reflective of my bubbly, outgoing personality. Its going to be raw and its going to be deep. Its going to be a post on an issue I've been struggling with for most of my life. I decided to write about how loyalty has gone missing. How … [Read more...]
Vulnerability
My friend and I had a discussion the other day about the hardest part of dating someone new. Even at our age (celebrating the 14th anniversary of my 29th birthday this year), we still have issues when it comes to dating and getting to know someone new. She decided, for her, it was getting naked. I couldn't disagree. That can most definitely be an insecurity. However, I took it further and said "vulnerability". That encompasses being naked physically with someone, but it also is about being naked emotionally with someone as well. Being open and vulnerable is so difficult when you have … [Read more...]
Intimacy
When the word intimacy is brought up, most people think of the post sexual cuddling that happens in the bedroom--the time and place where you are closest and most vulnerable. Often this is the time when we tell each other our secrets, dreams and goals. It feels safe and it feels right. Its fairly easy to have the intimacy in the bedroom. Even if you're discussing trivial things like a show on tv or a book you read recently, it seems important at the time because the oxytocin levels are still running through the brain and you want just be close to this person. You want to be at that deeper … [Read more...]
