I sat here looking at a blank screen wondering how to express my feelings about loyalty. Its one of my strongest traits being a very passionately loyal and honest person. Its also one of my biggest weaknesses because it opens me up a world of hurt and disappointment when that loyalty isn't returned. So this post isn't going to be nice. It isn't going to be reflective of my bubbly, outgoing personality. Its going to be raw and its going to be deep. Its going to be a post on an issue I've been struggling with for most of my life. I decided to write about how loyalty has gone missing. How … [Read more...]
My friend and I had a discussion the other day about the hardest part of dating someone new. Even at our age (celebrating the 14th anniversary of my 29th birthday this year), we still have issues when it comes to dating and getting to know someone new. She decided, for her, it was getting naked. I couldn't disagree. That can most definitely be an insecurity. However, I took it further and said "vulnerability". That encompasses being naked physically with someone, but it also is about being naked emotionally with someone as well. Being open and vulnerable is so difficult when you have … [Read more...]
When the word intimacy is brought up, most people think of the post sexual cuddling that happens in the bedroom--the time and place where you are closest and most vulnerable. Often this is the time when we tell each other our secrets, dreams and goals. It feels safe and it feels right. Its fairly easy to have the intimacy in the bedroom. Even if you're discussing trivial things like a show on tv or a book you read recently, it seems important at the time because the oxytocin levels are still running through the brain and you want just be close to this person. You want to be at that deeper … [Read more...]
The Zodiac Chart is incredibly interesting. Some people follow it and their horoscopes as if their future depends on it. Others feel its a load of crap. Some of us don't believe the horoscopes but feel the birthsigns offer something unique to who we are as individuals. While I indulge in my horoscope once in awhile, I take it with a grain of salt. The signs under which we were born--well that's something different altogether. I've read in depth descriptions on all the signs and the only one I have ever fit is Leo (July 23-August 22). I was supposed to be born in early July which is a … [Read more...]
It isn't a bold statement to say that technology has completely changed the way in which we communicate. Gone are the days when we wrote long letters to each other, posted them in the mail, and then waited days or even weeks to receive a response. Email replaced "snail mail" and receiving birthday cards and Christmas cards has been replaced by convenient ecards and Facebook messages. Now, even email feels archaic. Its been replaced by text messaging and instant messaging through apps like Facebook. We don't spend time on the phone catching up with friends and family because we don't really … [Read more...]
I’m always amazed at how James Sama gets it. I like to think I’m a strong woman. I don’t like fluff, small talk or games. I want to know who I’m dating…inside and out. I don’t judge, I just need clarity. I’m honest, full of integrity, and take my relationships seriously. I’m loyal. If I’ve let you in my heart, there is a reason for it. Sama explains what to expect when you date someone like me. Someone independent, who doesn’t NEED you but WANTS you. Someone who has enough respect for herself to not put up with games and ambivalence.
I was reading through my Facebook feed yesterday and I came across a post asking the question if animals experience what we perceive as grief when they lose there animal or human friends. Reading the comments, it was a resounding yes. The post, accompanied by videos of dogs, cats, and elephants grieving over their own who had died, was difficult to watch and really got to me. That's when I lost it. The tears starting pouring down my face thinking we, as humans, have so much arrogance to think these creatures don't feel anything. Of course they grieve. There were so many stories in the … [Read more...]
There is only one question women need answered other than "What's the meaning of life?" Its end all be all of questions. The question every woman asks herself when she meets a man she really likes and wants to be wtih. Its simple, easy, and yet so complex. "Does he really like me and want to be with me?" There are several variations of this question - "Does he love me?" "How does he feel about me?" "Is he thinking about me?" "Does he want to be in a relationship with me?" They are all pretty much the same and lead to two answers: "Yes" or "No". Unfortunately, women tend to overanalyze. A … [Read more...]
Ironically, I wrote a post a couple days ago about being in love versus having a crush. It was written from the heart by someone who knows how unrequited love can feel like a crush. Ultimately, like a crush, it drains the heart and conflicts the brain. The only way out is to move on.
So imagine my surprise today, upon reading this article in the Huffington Post about, simply, moving on from that crush. Its insightful and so true. Nothing keeps a person down and depressed more than trying to win the affections of someone who doesn’t want to give them. Not to say a crush can’t always turn into love, but if you’re like me and have a lot of experience with rejection and wanting someone who doesn’t want you, these points will really resonate.
That's not too hard to find, is it? I've been thinking a lot lately about what its like to be in love with someone. I'm in my early 40s and until recently, I have never been in love. Growing up, I remember several crushes on boys that never materialized into anything. I would fantasize about kissing them and walking around the mall holding hands, but more often than not, those boys had no interest in me. At that age, it was all so dramatic and heartwrenching and my friends and I thought it was love. The butterflies at seeing them in class, at the dance, or when they would ask us to prom … [Read more...]